How to Masturbate: Everything You Need to Know About Self Pleasure

If you want to learn more comprehensively about how to finger yourself, check out our previous guide.

How to jerk off

Jerking off, also known as jacking off, is another technique that can be helpful in your arsenal of self-pleasure. Usually, this refers to stroking a penis, but it can also work with other body parts and sex toys. The fun part about language is you can apply whatever feels affirming to you; jerking off doesn’t have to refer to acts involving a penis.

What are some tips for masturbating?

Now that you know what it is, how it’s beneficial, and how to actually do the deed, you’re probably ready to jump into bed to test out your newfound knowledge. Before you do, let’s review some helpful tips.

Start slow

It might be tempting to dive straight into a solo session, but sometimes patience and slowing down can pay off in the end. “Sometimes, we rush to our maximum pleasure, and instead of rushing to get off, slow down and tease a bit, build up to a greater arousal and potential orgasm,” Brown-James says.

Switch up your positions

Masturbation doesn’t have to start and end with you on your back. Experimenting with different positions can actually help you figure out what works for you during partnered sex, or just what feels best to you in general.

“Have a typical position that’s your go-to? Switch it up!” Hernandez tells Them. “See if another position feels different or even better than what you usually do. Masturbation is just one of those things where you won’t know what you like or don’t like until you try it.”

Fantasize to your heart’s desire

“Reading, watching, or listening to erotica before and during masturbation can be a fun way to get in a sexual headspace,” Hernandez says. Masturbation can take inspiration for a lot of folks, so make the time to explore and dive into erotica that works for you. Might I suggest perusing our guide to finding good queer porn?

Masturbate next to a boo for inspiration

Masturbation is often a solo event, but that doesn’t mean you can enjoy it with a partner or two every now and again — or often if it suits your fancy. “Partnered masturbation is also a fun option to connect with your partner(s) and learn what each other likes,” de la Mancha says.

Your normal is the only “normal” that matters

One of the most important things to keep in mind on your self-pleasure journey is that your comfort is key. If you try it and find masturbating doesn’t appeal to you, that’s totally ok! Because it’s so personal, your standards are the only ones that matter. There isn’t a single “right” way to engage in self-pleasure.

“Some people aren’t interested in masturbation and find other ways of experiencing pleasure in their lives that may not even be sexual in nature,” Hernandez says. “Others may find that to masturbate, they need to be in the right headspace. My message to you is to find your ‘normal’ and stand firm in that.”

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